


Catch me if you can

by chicklitbitch



Category: How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003), The Mindy Project
Genre: AU, F/M, Movie AU, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:48:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5688157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicklitbitch/pseuds/chicklitbitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How to lose a guy in ten days AU. Mindy is a journalist going undercover to write a piece on the missteps that get women dumped. Danny is a doctor that bets he can make any woman fall in love with him. Sparks fly. Neither knows the other's true intentions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love's a game, wanna play?

 

  
_"I can give you the recipe. Take two regulars, make them believe they like each other and let it simmer. Works every time."_

_\- Amèlie_

 

  
Mindy is sitting at her desk, finishing the last bite of her fiesta salad wrap when Alex rushes to her cubicle.

"You know that cute sports agent that flirted with you at the club Saturday?" Alex asks enthusiastically, as she makes herself comfortable on top of Mindy's desk.

"Josh?" Mindy reminisces. Blonde, kind of a jerk but in an attractive way. Not really husband material, but a fun detour from all her failed serious dating attempts. She didn't hate him completely.

"He made a special delivery this morning," Alex continues, wiggling two tickets in front of her friend's face.

Mindy crosses her fingers. "Please be Katy Perry tickets!"

"Yankees vs Red Sox, tomorrow night," Alex sing-songs.

Mindy groans, disappointed.

"Can we go together? I always wanted to see a real New York baseball game," Alex suggests, jumping off of the desk and straightening her skirt.

Mindy takes the tickets from her friend's hand, "You're such a country girl," she teases.

"Whatever, Baaawstan!"

"Shut up!" Mindy chuckles, then she rolls a paper bag and throws it at her friend's head.

Alex bends to take it off the ground and is ready to throw it back, when the moment is interrupted by her phone buzzing.

"It's Gwen," Alex and Mindy's eyes meet at the same moment.

"Do you think ... " Mindy wonders.

"Probably. Let's go. We have an 40 minutes 'til lunch break's over."

 

 

"Gwen? Are you in?" Mindy knocks on Gwen's apartment door, "We got coffee cake!"

The door unlocks,revealing a dishelved Gwen in her ducky pajama. Her hair is a mess, but somehow she still looks cute as hell. Mindy silently curses her.

"What happened?" Mindy makes her way into the apartment, careful not to trip over the piles of laundry and takeout menus on the floor.

"I got dumped." Gwen cries, walking towards her bedroom followed by her two friends. She then falls back to burrow herself into the bed covers she just left.

"Again?" Mindy takes a seat at the foot of the bed, setting a pile of used paper tissues aside.

"Why does this always happen to me? Things always start off so great and all of a sudden, it's over." Gwen starts sniffling, "I felt like we had a connection, you know, I - " she stumbles "- I poured my heart out to him ... I told him I loved him"

Mindy and Alex's eyes meet as Gwen blows her nose.

"After how many days?" Alex asks,genuinely bewildered. Gwen has been dating Carl for little more than a week and she finds the information rather alarming.

"Five. Okay, maybe three. I just really felt it, you know?" Gwen eyes her friends, searching for validation.

"What did he say?"

"He said it back. "With his eyes," she explains, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, "but then he started to get busy,and never replied to my facebook pokes,or emails,or twitter DMs ... maybe I'm not hot enough. I mean, he's always around models at the ad agency. Maybe he has found someone better."

"Shut up!" Mindy smacks her in the arm, "You're smart, successful, and have a crazy hot bod. Screw him!"

"Also, if Gisele Bündchen acted the way you did, any normal guy would still go running in the other direction," Alex adds, while handing her the bakery box.

"I don't think that's true," Gwen frowns, opening it and smelling the cake.

"Listen,as much as I admit your pajama is crazy adorable and we all love coffee cake - God knows how much I do - wallowing is not getting you anywhere," Mindy yells, heading to the kitchen to get forks and plates.

"Come to the Shulman party with us tonight," Alex pleads, taking a plate and a fork from Mindy, who sits back on the bed.

"Green is so your color, Gwen, you can't miss St.Patrick's Day!" Mindy wiggles her eyebrows.

"And if you feel bad, you can just get drunk and no one's gonna judge you." Alex says, between bites.

"Fine." Gwen rolls her eyes in defeat, digging into the cake.

 

 

The elevator door is about to close when a long, freshly manicured hand stops it.

"Good evening, Sheila," Mindy greets her boss,and pushes the 12th level button.

"Good evening, girls," she replies, taking a compact mirror and lipstick out of her purse to retouch her make-up.

She smacks her lips and smiles, satisfied. "Oh,hello Gwen," she then says,as if she only just noticed the woman's presence. "I thought you were sick. You were a no-show today. I hope you have a good explanation."

Gwen is about to reply, when Alex jumps to her defense. "Her boyfriend broke up with her."

"Again? Oh, poor you," Sheila says half-earnestly. "But I must say you look great tonight. I think the split did you good. You look skinnier. You should write about that in your health column."

"I - I can't use my personal life for a story."

"I understand, dear. Alex, Mindy, do either of you wanna write about it?"

"Yes!" Mindy replies quickly. Alex and Gwen stare at her like she has grown a third limb.

"She will be my inspiration," Mindy's eyes dart back and forth between her friends and her boss "She's a great woman, who like many of us, gets in trouble with relationships and doesn't know what she's doing wrong."

Gwen and Alex visibly relax and nod in agreement.

"Uh-huh." Sheila gestures for her to continue.

"So i'm gonna ... date a guy. And get him to dump me."

"Oh, you should call it How to lose a guy in ten days" Alex suggests, raising her eyebrows.

"See? It sells itself!" Mindy smiles at Sheila.

"How to lose a guy in ten days." Sheila takes a moment to contemplate "I like it. Go for it."

Mindy silently fist pumps as the elevator stops. The doors open and Sheila enters the hallway, her three employee following her into the party.

 

 

"Hello," Brendan greets Sheila,taking her hand in his and kissing it. "You look lovely."

Sheila blushes and Mindy and her friends can't help but giggle at her unusual display of emotions.

"Ladies, this is my -" Sheila clears her throat, "my friend Brendan. Brendan, these are my top columnists: Alex Vaughn.Fashion and Trends. Gwen Grandy, Fitness and Health. And Mindy Lahiri, our resident 'How to' girl."

"I've seen you column, Mindy. My patients love it. I'm a midwife. I work upstairs." He smiles slightly, "What are you working on now?"

Mindy doesn't have a chance to answer.

"How to lose a guy in ten days." Sheila jumps in, "She's going to start dating a guy and drive him away on purpose in a week and a half. Brilliant, isn't it?"

"Sounds ruthless. But a necessary evil," Brendan resolves.

"Well, Mindy, what are you still doing here? Go mingle with the crowd, find your guy. Time is ticking. Go, go, go!" Sheila pushes her away.

 

 

"So, who's it gonna be?" Alex asks, scanning the room.

"That one with the blue suit next to the refreshments table is kinda cute." Gwen points across the room.

"Oh, yeah, I think I'm gonna go." Mindy checks her reflection in a nearby tray before making her way towards the mysterious man.

"Hey, you." She puts her hand on her hip, attempting her best Angelina Oscar pose.

The man extends his hand, smiling."Cliff Gilbert. I work with the lawyers across the hall."

"Mindy Lahiri. I'm a columnist for Glow, the online magazine downstairs." She shakes his hand in return. "So, where are you from?"

"Actually, I was born in Iowa but when I was five I mov - " his musing is interrupted by a short read headed woman approaching them. "Oh, hi babe.This is Mindy, she works for the online magazine downstairs."

"Glow." Mindy mutters.

"Never heard of it," the woman responds. "I'm Heather, by the way."

"Nice to meet you Heather. I ... better go now, my friends are waiting. Cliff ," Mindy bows her head, retreating to the opposite side of the room.

"Girlfriend," she growls, taking Alex's drink from her hand and sipping on the straw.

"Better luck next time," Gwen sighs, patting her on the arm.

 

 

Brendan feels a hand hovering over his shoulder.

“Well, well, well, if it isn't Deslaurier.” Danny stands in front of the midwife, all crossed arms and puffed out chests.

"This is going to take a couple of minutes, Sheila." Brendan excuses himself, leading Danny to a private corner.

“This party is open to the whole building, so I think it is my right to be here.”

“Guess what? We heard from Maria Menounos today. She said she had a better offer from another practice and she's reconsidering being our spokesperson.”

“Yes, well. She is an established businesswoman and I'm sure she can make an informed decision for herself. We simply made a counteroffer- "

"Behind our back," Danny interrupts.

"- and she's considering it. ” Brendan finishes. "Listen, it's nothing personal. Women love us. They do. Whether they're eight, or eighty, we respect women, all right? We don't just cure them, we also listen to them, and that's why we can sell ourselves to any woman, anywhere, anytime."

"So can we." Danny shrugs nonchalantly.

"Really? The tree molester and Mr Catfish?" he gestures towards Peter and Jeremy, "You, with your broken marriage?"

"You don't know anything!" Danny begins to sweat, "I could call up any girl in my phone book. Any girl!"

Brendan glances behind Danny's shoulder and notices Sheila on the other side of the room, arguing with her employees. An idea strikes him.

"Dr. Shulman's lifetime achievement award ceremony is in ten days. You think you could make a woman fall in love with you by then?"

"Like that." Danny snaps his fingers. "But you know what? I don't need to prove anything to you ... screw you, Deslaurier!"

"If you do prove it, we'll withdraw the offer and let you guys have Maria." Brendan arches his eyebrows, beaming at Danny.

Danny eyes him with suspicion. It's not the first time Deslaurier tries to pull some dirty trick on their practice.

"I know what you're thinking, but this is not a ruse. In fact,we'll choose someone right here, right now."

"Who?" Danny looks around the room.

"Let's see ... " Brendan stalls for a few seconds, pretending to inspect the crowd, "How about her? South - Asian by the reception, with the blinding sparkly dress."

"Okay, you can just say Indian." Danny rolls his eyes,annoyed.

"Actually, that's offensive. And a generalization," Brendan argues "So ... are we on?"

"Deal!" Danny shakes Brendan's hand,grasping way too firmly.

"Perfect." Brendan disentangles himself from the grasp, smoothing his palm on his pants. "You bring her to the ceremony, and we'll see who gets Maria."

 


	2. Love,war and nothing more

  
The party's a bust. In an hour Mindy's been rejected by a married guy, a gay one and another that was probaly both. The closest she's gotten to some action is the creepy taxidermist from the fourth floor making eye contact with her across the room.

 

 

Half an hour, two snacks and a micro-nap later, Mindy's hiding in one of the doctor's offices, swirling on a leather chair while flipping through an old people magazine issue. There's an in-dept analysys of Taylor Swift's old album lyrics guessing who they might be about and she swears, it's a such a page turner, even though she's outraged, knowing "I knew you were trouble" was about her beloved Harry Styles because her money was on John Mayer. Literally, she bet 100 dollars with Alex about it.

_Damn you, Taylor Swift._

Just as she's turning the page to the next article, her pop culture musings are interrupted the door bursting open. The magazine drops on the carpeted floor and her legs fall off the desk where they were resting.

"Who the hell are you?" Danny growls.

"I'm Doctor ... " Mindy replies, catching a glimpse of a paper sheet on the desk with the corner of her eye. "I'm Doctor Castellano!"

" _I'm_ Doctor Castellano! did you really think it was gonna work?"

"I don't know! i was kicked out of my improv class for excess of fart jokes after one week. I had to try. Are you gonna call the police?"

"Did you do anything illegal?"

"No. But I took a bite of your sandwich and then wrapped it back because mayo grosses me out."

Danny thinks for a second. He's got his bet girl in the palm of his hand and doesn't wanna screw this up right from the start.

"I suppose you're hungry, then?"

"Do i look like i'm ever not hungry? you know what, don't answer that."

"Do you wanna ... go get something to eat? out of here."

"Oh." Mindy smiles. _Bingo_. "Ok. But we haven't even introduced each other yet. I only know your last name."

"Dr. Danny Castellano." he moves closer, extending his hand to Mindy.

"Mindy Lahiri." she shakes his hand back. Firm grip, though a bit sweaty. Very handsome too. This guy could definitely do.

 

  
  
They end up at a small sushi place exactly halfway between their office building and where he lives.

"So, you're one of the Shulman guys" Mindy breaks the ice once they take their seats in the small corner booth.

"Yeah. I've been there since 2007. Nice place. You never get bored with those people, that much i can tell you. What about you ... what do you do for a living?"

“I write for Glow.“

"The tv show with the singing kids?"

“No, the online women's magazine. Down the hall on the 5th floor?”

“Oh ... So, you're an internet blog.”

"You're so weird" Mindy chuckles, shaking her head.

"Is it a bad thing or a good one?"

"It's ... interesting."

"So, what do you write about?"

"How to's. You know, tutorials for women to improve their lifestyle."

"And you believe in the stuff you write?"

“Hey! just because i got a great body “ she gestures empathically to her curves “doesn't mean i don't have a brain too. I graduated in journalism at a little University called Columbia. Ever heard about it?”

“Yeah, I went there. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge you based on where you work.”

"Listen, i know those articles may not literally save women's life like you do, but people enjoy them and if they make their lives even a little less boring, then it's worth it. Anyways, it's not like my whole life aspiration. I wanna move on the ladder, eventually. Have my own magazine and help women my way, that kind of stuff."

"Good for you. You shouldn't settle. So, anything you'd like to know about me?"

"You tell me. What should i know?" Mindy rests her head on her chin.

"Well, i'm divorced and so are my parents." Danny admits. He figures this is the perfect time to use the broken family card. No girl he ever met could resist a good fixer-upper. "That's something that really affected the way i live, you know? i'm really committed to true love now. More than ever."

"Oh my God, that is so deep." Mindy fakes a deep sigh " So you believe anything's fair in love and war?"

"Absolutely."

 

 

"I can't believe we had to ask for a fork" Mindy complains on their way back from the restaurant.

"And i can't believe you still used chopsticks anyways"

"My hands were too tiny for their forks" Mindy shows her hands "I felt like the little mermaid. I literally could have brushed my hair with that thing."

Danny laughs, stopping in front of the steps of a large building.

"So, that's me. Do you ... wanna come upstairs?"

"Yes. No." Mindy thinks a second about the best compromise between hard to get and teasing. "Actually, I just really need to use the bathroom. Do you mind?"

 

 

Danny's apartment is small and carefully furnished, like a squeaky clean bachelor's pad. Everything's in its perfect place, from the spices rack in the kitchen to the framed Yankees Jersey on the wall.

"The bathroom's there on your right" Danny says, putting on a record on an actual old time record player like they do in the movies.

Mindy silently prays she doesn't end up like those girls in American psycho - not that she's seen much of it because she skipped to the shirtless scenes, which were the main reason she rented it to be honest, but still, she knows it didn't end well.

Once she's in the bathroom, she calls her friends to let them know her whereabouts, in case things get weird.

"Why are you whispering?" Gwen asks.

"I'm in his bathroom. I wanna see what he's got in his cabinets."

"been there, done that. Go on."

Mindy ruffles through the bottles and boxes, careful not to mess up the perfectly placed items and get busted.

"Shaving cream, dandruff shampoo, hair pomade? ... what is he, my grandpa?"

"At least there's no std medicine in there, right?" Alex jumps in, taking charge of Gwen's phone.

"Alex, I'm not gonna sleep with him, i barely know him! plus, i gotta keep him hanging a bit if i wanna make this last long enough to write the article. "

"Yeah, right. So, can you keep your phone on? i wanna hear what happens."

"No way."

"Exactly." Alex replies knowingly.

"Whatever, i gotta go or he's gonna get suspicious. Bye. Call you tomorrow." Mindy hangs up.

 

 

When she comes back, Danny is waiting for her on his leather couch, two glasses of wine sitting on a coaster on the coffee table in front of him. He pats the couch, urging her to join him.

So, she does and they drink. And the drinking leads to talking and the talking leads them to more drinking. Until, an hour later, they're sprawled on his couch making out.

"Wait" Mindy begrudgingly parts her swollen lips from Danny's and lifts her head.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't wanna rush things" Mindy shoots him and inquistory look "Is that - a problem?"

"Nope" he holds her shoulder with one hand and caresses her face with the other "You wanna do things on your own terms and i respect that."

"Great. And i respect that you respect that. So ... i should probably go."

"Yeah. It's best."

 

 

"This was nice. Wanna do this again sometime?" Danny tells her as he opens the door for her and she puts her coat back on.

"Yes, absolutely. I can't wait. You know where to find me."

"Same for you."

"Bye" she kisses him quickly before the heavy, metal door closes behind her.

"I got this in the bag" she whispers, smirking as she heads down the hallway to the building's elevator.

Little does she know, Danny is thinking exactly the same thing back at his place.

 


	3. Take me out

 

The next morning, Danny feels something poking at his spine as he sits on his couch and to his surprise, he finds Mindy's clutch there. So, he does what anyone would do on that situation, and brings it to work to get Peter and Jeremy's take on it.

"Nice purse, Danny" Jeremy says, inspecting the shiny square on Danny's desk.

"That's not mine, obviously. Mindy left it at my place last night."

"On purpose?" Peter asks.

"That's what I'm trying to find out. I wouldn't be surprised. She's sly." Danny replies, contemplating.

"There's only one way to find out more." Peter states, ungraciously waving an arm and making the purse fall, spilling its content on the carpeted floor. "Oops. I guess now we have to pick up her stuff."

The trio immediately kneels to inspect the mess on the floor, which includes various candy wrappers, used make up wipes, one men's deodorant, a half-eaten bear claw, a padded bra, emergency underwear, and a rape whistle.

Peter picks up a small envelope on the far side of the messy pile and opens it.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here."

"Yankees tickets for tonight." Danny's eyes grow wide and he snatches the tickets from Peter's hands. "I thought these were sold out."

 

  
Two hours later, Mindy's greeted at her desk by the biggest and best smelling floral composition she's ever laid eyes on. Any kind of flower she can imagine's in there, a rainbow of colors in the minimalist and neutral office space that so perfectly reflect's Sheila's personality.

She sits at her desk as Gwen and Alex join her, squealing, then she picks out the card neatly tucked inside the composition and unfolds it.

"More beautiful and colorful than a thousand flowers." Mindy reads.

"Look at Mr. Smooth, you got him so whipped already. Nice job!" Gwen congratulates her, picking out a peony from the bunch and putting it behind her ear.

Mindy scoffs. "He just found the tickets, that's all."

"You left them in your purse?" Gwen asks.

Alex is genuinely impressed. She joins her hands and tilts her head.

"I bow to the Master."

Just as Alex finishes her ceremonies, Mindy's office phone rings.

"It's him."

"Put him on speaker." Gwen urges Mindy.

So she does.

"Hello, you. "

"I got your purse."

"I know. I mean, i figured you had it when I didn't find it this morning."

"I guess you need it back or they won't let you into the Yankees stadium tonight."

"Danny, Have you been looking into my stuff?"

"No way! Peter, my friend, he's a klutz. He just dropped it on the ground by accident."

"Well, that's really nice of you to let me know right away. Me and my friend Alex - " Mindy and her friend look at each other and they try to stifle their laughter "- we would have hated to miss the game."

"I hope that's not a man."

"No, it's a woman."

"Then maybe you could take me instead, just for this once? I'm sure your friend won't mind."

"Tell her we'll give her first consultation free if she gives up the ticket." Jeremy suggests, whispering.

"Shut up!" Danny shushes him, swatting his arm.

"What?" Mindy asks, confused.

"Not you! I just have very annoying coworkers. Listen, I know you left the bag on purpose to get on another date. Come on."

Alex gives Mindy a thumbs up.

"Sure" Mindy finally accepts. "meet me in front of the stadium at 5 tonight."

 

 

"Danny. Danny." Mindy pokes him on the side with her giant foam finger, yelling to make herself heard in the packed bleachers.

"What?"

"All this waving and yelling is getting me so hungry. Could you get me something to eat? thanks."

"But it's almost the end of the ninth Inning."

"Yeah, but i really, really need it. I have this condition, if i don't eat every two hours i get narcoleptic. It's super dangerous."

"I've never heard about it."

"Ok, you're a gynecologist, not a everything-ologist. It's very real. And very rare."

"Fine." Danny sighs, defeated.

"You sure you can remember it all?"

"I paid my way through med school being a busboy. I got this."

"Great. I want a slice of plain pizza, extra on the cheese. When i say extra i really mean it."

"Ok." Danny replies half distractedly, trying to keep up with the game.

"Hey look at me."

Danny turns around to face Mindy completely.

"I am. I mean, I'm listening. Go on."

"Two large cokes. Twizzlers. If there's only red vines, forget it and take sour straws. Large pop corns. Butter. No salt. And hot dogs, like those small ones they serve at parties, but like twenty of it. Ok, thanks, babe." she finishes, kissing him on the cheek.

When he's done with all of it and he's back to the bleachers barely balancing the huge tray, almost half an hour has gone by and the Inning's over with everybody cheering the Yankees' victory.

Mindy happily grabs the tray from Danny and sets it on her side.

"Wait, I thought this was for both of us."

"Oh, no. But we can get something for you too if you want on our way out."

"Forget it."

 

 

 

"Oh, My God, Danny, that was so crazy!" Mindy says once they're out of the stadium. "I've never seen a game like this."

"Neither have I." Danny replies sadly.

"Too bad you missed it. Oh, well, what can you do about it?" Mindy tells him, waving at a cab coming their way.

"So, Danny, are you really as nice as you seem?" she continues, holding the cab door half-open and stuffing her go-to food bag full of goodies in the back seat..

"I'm afraid not."

"Good. Neither am I." She smirks, before closing the cab door behind her and leaving for the night.

 

  
The next morning, Danny's in the middle of one of Jeremy's incredibly long meetings about new health code regulations when his cell phone rings.

"Come on. I said it a million times. Phones off at meetings." Jeremy reprimands his colleague.

"It's Mindy."

Jeremy gives in, throwing is hands up in the air. "Fine."

Danny exits the conference room and heads into the kitchenette area, sitting on a table.

"Hiiiiiiii" Mindy greets him, raising her voice to an even higher pitch than usual.

"Hey, I'm in a work meeting. can I call you back?"

"I miss you Danny."

"Me too."

"Really? so, do you wanna go out tonight?"

"Ok. How about a movie? your choice."

"Oh My God, yes!" Mindy squeals "you're not gonna regret it! i have so many ideas! see you tonight!"

 

"Damn you, Tom Hanks." Mindy cries "He's so great. Women just want a hot, rich architect to climb the Empire State building for them. Is that too much to ask?"

"Well, that's a movie. That's kinda unrealistic, don't you think?" Danny chuckles, tilting his head to the side.

"So you wouldn't?" Mindy's tone changes to vaguely menacing.

"What?"

"Climb all the Empire State building for me?"

Danny doesn't dare to reply. He knows he's in hot water.

"I bet you would've for your stupid ex-wife."

"No. Not for her. I would, but just for you."

Mindy lights up and she puts out the biggest smile.

"I knew it! come here!" she jumps him and covers him with kisses."You're so great , Danny. How did i even get so lucky?"

"Shut up or get a room! I didn't come here to hear Alvin and the Chipmunks!" A gruff voice roars from the row behind the couple.

Mindy turns around to discover it's Kevin Smith, acclaimed movie director as well as her long-time nemesis.

"You shut up, Kevin Smith! what even are you doing here? be careful or my boyfriend over here is gonna punch you so hard your stomach will be flat!"

 _Boyfriend?_   they've only been dating 3 days. Danny contemplates the possibility that there's been a little too many red flags so far for such a short relationship, but he needs to keep the charade up for the practice's sake. So, he pictures Brendan's stupid smug face turning sour when he loses the bet, and puts his worries aside. What's the worst than can happen in one week, anyway?

"Ok. You and me, outside, little guy." Kevin gets up, causing the rest of the audience to boo and throw popcorn in his direction.

Danny gets up too and the trio gets out of the movie theater and into the lobby, much to everybody's joy.

"Danny, you don't have to" Mindy begs him. As much as this is a bet, the guy's not terrible and he doesn't deserve getting the shit beat out of him. " He's huge. And loaded. If he sues you, you're toast."

"Don't worry, I'm just gonna talk with him try to smooth things over. He owes you an apology."

"Apology my ass" Kevin growls, throwing a punch right on Danny's jaw as he's turning around to face him.

"Now if you don't mind I'm going back to Sleepless in Seattle. I need to know if Jonah's alright!" Kevin declares calmly, making his way back to the theater and leaving Danny on the floor.

"Oh my God, are you all right?" Mindy lays down next to Danny and he rests his head on her chest. "Here, put my slushie on your jaw. Feel better?"

"Just give me a second." Danny pleads, setting deeper on Mindy's chest, close to the deep v of her low-cut top.

"Ok, you're fine." Mindy chuckles, untangling from him and helping him get up. "let's go home, Rocky."

So they do.

 

The next night, they agree to have dinner at his place. Danny, as any good italian man, is very proud of his cooking and he can't wait to show it off to Mindy. As his Ma taught him, there's no better way to a woman's heart than the stomach, especially if that woman happens to be Mindy Lahiri.

"This is so beautiful." Mindy marvels as she looks around Danny's apartment, admiring the perfectly decorated table and the flowers and candles all over the room.

"Make yourself at home, dinner's almost ready" Danny instructs from the kitchen area where he's watching over a big pot. "There are bread rolls and bread sticks out and - oh, you're already digging in. Knock yourself out, I guess."

Mindy gives out a muffled reply, mouth full of bread.

"I hope you don't mind the game is on" Danny points at the lit tv on a live broadcast of a baseball stadium. "I just really hate the idea of miss another one after the last time."

"No problem."

"What is that?" Danny points at the frame Mindy just put next to the television set.

"That's a picture of me, silly. So your mom can picture me when you talk her about me when she comes over."

"Yeah, i know it's you. I just didn't expect it."

"You don't like it? I even signed it with a heart on top of it just for you." Mindy cries in a girlish voice.

"No, i love it. You look beautiful in it. You look like that famous girl, what's her name, Jennifer something?" Danny takes a leap of faith. There's so many famous Jennfer, one of them must be a moderately attractive woman of color, right?

Mindy lights up "Jennifer Lopez?"

"Yeah."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!"

"And, can i know what's that other green thing next to the picture frame ?"

"Oh, a love fern. It's a plant that symbolizes our newborn but growing love."

Danny's about to rebut when the kitchen timer rings, signaling dinner's ready. So he guides Mindy to the table, pulling out the chair for her.

"Ok, take a seat, relax and get ready to enjoy the best lobster of your life."

This going too nice for Mindy's taste. She needs to amp up her undateable game. She takes a few seconds to get ready, and begins the best fake cry of her life.

"What's wrong?" Danny rushes beside her, alarmed.

"I just feel so bad" Mindy sobs "I should've told you sooner but I'm allergic to shellfish. I'm feeling itchy already just being next to it. Please get that dead crab away from me."

"Sure." Danny clears the plates he just set out and gets back to the kitchen "Do you want me to make you something else? you name it."

"No. Can we go out? I'm really craving ribs."

"But what about the game? I mean -"

"Danny, this crab vapor is really getting me sick, i feel my throat closing. And I'm so hungry!"

"Ok. Let's go out." Danny concedes, throwing the lobster in the trash.

 

  
The dinner goes smoothly. The conversation is pleasant, the locale is clean and spacious, the rib is divine and most of all, she manages to keep Danny away from another game, and hopefully drive

him crazy in the process.

Actually, the kitchen staff has a small tv set to the game, as Mindy discovers on her way to the ladies room noticing a group of chefs yelling at a big miss from a Mets player. Luckily for her, though,

the hallway to the man's room doesn't face the kitchen, so there's no chance of Danny ditching her to catch up on the score.

When they get home, though, the first thing Danny does is turning the tv on to the sports channel for the big game recap and Mindy's sure her eyes are about to roll out of her sockets.

"Come on!" Danny almost jumps out of the couch and misses Mindy's face of a couple of inches, talking with the Mets player Mindy saw earlier at the restaurant.

"I can't believe he missed that ball. It looks so easy to catch." Mindy thinks out loud.

"How did you know?"

"What?" Mindy's shaken from her reverie.

"You said he was gonna miss it and then he did."

"I just had a feeling." Mindy badly tries to justify herself.

"He never misses a ball. I don't understand."

Mindy can sense she's going into a dangerous territory, so she instinctually goes for the ultimate distraction and grabs Danny's thigh, then she jumps on his lap.

"Whoa" Danny murmurs.

"Prime rib always get me horny" Mindy explains, playing with the button of his shirt. "Let's see if Princess Sophia wants to come out and play."

"Who?"

Mindy points to Danny's crotch with an expressions that can only be translated as _Duh_ , before she starts rubbing her body all over him and scratching his chest like a feral animal in a way that's pretty unpleasant.

"Oh, no, no, no. My guy's _a guy_. " Danny states matter-of-factly.

"Big or little? the suspense's killing me!" Mindy squeals in the girliest, squeamiest voice she can manage, trying to unbutton Danny's jeans.

"Wait a second. Before we go on any further ..." Danny stops her in her tracks and untangles from her, hopping off the couch.

This is it. Mindy's sure he's gonna give up now.

"Yes" she says innocently, batting her eyelashes.

"We need to find a, dignified masculine name for it."

Ok. So he has not given up yet, but he will anytime soon, Mindy's sure. It's just a matter of time.

"Like?"

"Like Cobra, D-bone, The Hammer of Thor."

"Ok, so, does the Hammer of Thor want to come out and play?" Mindy gets up from the couch and links her arms behind Danny's neck, looking down at his still unbuttoned jeans. "Come on out and show me what you got!"

"Know what, i think The Hammer's back in the toolbox for tonight and Thor needs his beauty sleep."

"Oh, too bad. Well, I'm just gonna get out of here, then leave you two alone."

Mindy giggles grabbing her coat and waltzing through the living room.

"Take care of the plant, baby, don't forget it. Bye" She finally tells him, sorting herself out and blowing him a kiss.

Getting into the elevator, Mindy's pretty satisfied with the way things went tonight. She really managed to drive Danny up a wall, and not getting her ruse busted in the process. She's still deep in gloating when a hand stops the elevator. Danny's, to be more specific.

"Hey. Can i see you tomorrow?" he asks, leaning on the elevator door, half-naked and out of breath.

"Really? ok, call me." Mindy fakes a smile.

"Great, i will. Bye for real this time." Danny gets off the door, which closes behind him.

"What the fuck is wrong with him?" Mindy whispers, exasperated, as the elevator starts moving under her.

 


	4. (You Drive Me) Crazy

 

  
When Danny comes home following a surgery a couple of days after his last date with Mindy, he finds fifteen new texts on his phone.

  
  
**5 pm from Mindy**  
  
_Hi it's me. Where u at?_

  
**5.12 from Mindy**  
  
_Guess ur working_.

  
**5.40 from Mindy**  
  
_R u avoiding me?_

  
**5.52 from Peter**  
  
_Bro, we still on for watching the game at yours tomorrow or u got plans w/ the lady?_

  
**6.01 from Mindy**  
  
_Still me. U ok?_

  
Danny's about to read yet another worrisome text from Mindy, when someone knocks at his door.

 

  
"Who is it?"

  
"It's me!" Mindy's muffled voice echoes from the other side of the wall.

  
"Who else?" Danny flaps his arms in the air, snorting, before reluctantly opening.

  
Mindy enters the living room unceremoniously, plopping herself and her giant bag on the brown leather couch.

 

"Is your phone broken or something? i've been trying to reach you all day." she asks, fumbling with her purse and taking her glittery stickers - covered laptop out.

  
"You can't exactly answer texts and do surgery at the same time."

  
"Makes sense. Anyway, i've got a surprise for you!"

  
Mindy sets the computer on her lap and starts loading a website, much to Danny's confusion.

  
"I've made a very special pinterest album!" she announces, pointing her finger to the screen to show Danny, who in the meantime sat next to her on the couch.

  
"What's a pinterest?"

  
"It's like an internet scrapbook, you dummy! and this is our family."

  
"But we don't even have kids." Danny tries to reason.

  
At this declaration, Mindy decides to close her laptop, erupting in tears and incoherent mumblings. Danny doesn't know what to do to stop her antics, so he gives her an encouraging hug and tries to soften the blow as much as he can.

  
"Oh, no - meant, yet. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Please Mindy, show me our future."

  
"Really? you're not playing around?"

  
"No, come on. I wanna see it. I bet you worked hard on this."

  
"I did." Mindy dries her eyes with her shirt sleeve and opens her laptop again to a badly photoshopped picture of her and Danny. "Ok, so ... This is our wedding in Boston. My dad's a big Boston buff. He would kill us if we got married anywhere else."

  
Danny freezes in his place. He really, really doesn't like Boston, but it's not like they're ever gonna get married anyway, so he puts on his poker face. Let the poor sucker who will actually bag her for the rest of his life deal with this.

  
"I love it. A great city." he encourages her. "What's next?"

  
"This is us and these are our nine girls, named after all the Muses."

  
"Nine girls????" Danny can't help but shout.

  
"Relax" Mindy smacks him " This was just indicative. I think after six i'll just go snip snip, you know? Anyway, i made them with this face meshing app. Aren't they gorgeous?"

  
Danny looks a little closer to the oddly shaped features with tiny creepy smiles, trying to find appropriate words that won't send Mindy on another emotional rampage.

  
"They certainly look ... unique."

  
Mindy continues her narration, enlarging two new photos.

  
"This is us backpacking Europe with Calliope and Clio on our shoulders. And that's Thalia and Urania burying you under the sand on the French Riviera. They're such little rascals."

  
Thankfully for Danny, Mindy's musing are interrupted by his landline ringing.  
  
  
"Hi! - uh uh - everything's great - yeah, she's here."

  
Danny sets down the phone and comes back to the couch, confusion written all over his face.

  
"It's for you, Mindy. It's my ma?"

  
Mindy doesn't hesitate a second to grab the cordless phone from Danny's hands.

  
"Annette! - yes, i just showed him."

  
"Why is my ma calling you?" Danny tries to interject, but Mindy shushes him putting one finger up in the air.  
  
  
"He loved it. He thinks our girls will be beautiful - Yes, absolutely - Ok, i'll let you back to your lasagna. Call me tonight - Oh, tomorrow? Ok, bye."

  
Mindy hangs up, smiling from hear to hear, and hands back the phone to Danny as if everything's normal.

  
"Since when are you and ma friends?"

  
"Oh, i called her to get some baby pictures for the album. By the way, you never told me you were the cutest chubbiest ballerino i've ever seen. So adorable."

  
At this point Danny has had enough. He needs to clear up his mind and be alone for a couple of minutes.

  
"You know what, i'm just gonna go freshen up a little. Just wait a minute, i'll be right back."

  
When he gets to his bathroom though, Mindy's presence doesn't to seem to leave him even there.

  
A wet purple toothbrush decorated with pearls sits on the sink. Pads and tampons fill the cabinets. So do shaving strips, face creams, nail polishes and various make up items.

  
"Come on! Jesus!" he yells without even realizing.

  
He takes a few minutes to calm down before heading back to the living room.

  
"Hey, Danny. You got plans tonight? i got another surprise for you." Mindy asks innocently, as if she hadn't just heard his outburst and laughed about it. 

  
"I got another surgery later." Danny lies. " It's gonna only gonna take less than an hour, but two surgeries in ten hours, man, i'll be wiped."

  
"That's too bad. I had tickets for tonight."

  
"Tickets?" Danny lights up.

  
"Yeah, great ones. Front row. You won't miss a second of the action."

  
"Well, i guess i can ask Jeremy to cover this one for me."

  
"You're not gonna regret this. We'll remember this night forever." Mindy smiles broadly.

 

  
  
"How cool was when the cannon threw candies up in the air during California Girls? and when she flew over us? and the Snoop surprise appearance? i almost fainted!" Mindy recounts, gripping Danny's arm outside the stadium at the end of Katy Perry's concert. they're both wearing pink Tour shirts with Katy's face on it - women's large for her, men's small for him. Mindy is still thrilled from the experience but Danny just looks tired. Mindy's trap once again worked perfectly.

 

 

  
  
The next morning, Mindy calls an emergency week-end meeting over brunch with her friends to set up a new strategy.

  
"Something's wrong with him, i'm telling you." Mindy declares, munching on some pretzels.

  
"Were you clingy?" Gwen asks her.

  
"Yes. Clingy, needy, whiny."

  
"Baby talk?" Alex jumps in.

  
"Sometimes. I guess i could do it more."

  
"I was obsessed with Carl's ex girlfriends. Maybe try that." Gwen suggests.

  
"And talk about your exes too." Alex adds.

  
"This is not enough. He just won't let go. We need to scare him for good. I need to get an idea by tomorrow."

  
"Why not tonight?" Alex is puzzled.

  
"He's watching the game with his buddies tonight. It's their weekly thing."

  
"Not anymore. His life revolves around you now. Go crash his little sausage party, i say."

 

  
  
"Hellooooo boys!" Mindy abruptly enters Danny's apartment holding a big plastic bag and taking everybody by surprise.

  
"She has a key?" Peter whispers to Danny, leaning in on the couch.

  
"I didn't give her. My ma must have."

  
"Your mom?" Jeremy laughs, soon joined by the rest of the gang.

  
Danny gets up to greet Mindy, who stands by the kitchen counter, setting out various containers on top of it.

  
"What are you doing here? i wasn't expecting you."

  
"You're not mad, are you?"

  
"No. Mindy. This is the guys - " he points the the four men sitting on the couch with their heads turned to face them. - Peter, Jeremy, Terry, Ray."

  
Mindy goes over to the couch and shakes hands with each of them, eager to get a better sense of what kind of company Danny frequents.

  
"I didn't mean to interrupt you guys. I just thought you could use some extra snacks. I made them myself." Mindy smiles, opening a tupperware full of chocolate cookies.

  
The men all get up from the couch, each gingerly taking a bunch from the container.

  
"Don't be shy, guys, there's enough for everybody! you too, Danny!" Mindy encourages them.

  
Everybody's eagerness to taste the treats soon dissipates. Their faces contorts in disgust and they set them back in the tupperware.

  
"Sweetheart, is it possible you used salt instead of sugar by accident?" Danny says, wiping his mouth with a kitchen towel.

  
"Oops, maybe?" Mindy replies, feigning innocence. Then she notices the fern.

  
She heads towards the plant, pushing the guys out of her way.

  
"Our love Fern is dead?????" she yells, holding a flopping branch.

  
"No, It's just taking a nap" Danny tries to argue unsuccessfully.

  
"You let it die when i expressly told you to take care of it? is this how you intend to treat our relationship too?" Mindy keeps yelling, moving closer to Danny "Maybe you need some time alone to think about all this."

  
She starts to head out, gathering her tupperwares and purse.

  
"Is she on drugs?" Ray whispers.

  
"I hope so" Danny replies, gesturing with his hand to his head, as to imply she has some loose screw.

  
Unfortunately for him, Mindy forgot a container and heard everything.

  
"I'm not some mental case !!" she laments. "I'm done! me and the fern are out of here."

  
This time Mindy exits the apartment for real, with Danny following suit.

  
"Hey, what happened?" he stops her in the middle of the hallway. "You're so different than the Mindy i know. You're acting like a nutjob."

  
"So you're saying i'm crazy?"

  
"No, you're just acting a little nutjob."

  
"Listen, i don't know if i can date somebody who can't even care for a plant and calls me nuts. I need someone more dependable and respectful. Someone i can count on."

  
"See, that's what i'm trying to say! where's the confident, sexy, smart girl i met last week? you're like that damn Katy Perry song, Mindy! you're in, you're out, you're up, you're down!"

  
"So, we're over." Mindy mutters.

  
"I guess so" Danny agrees.

  
"Fine."

  
"Bye forever, Mindy."

  
Danny turns, not daring to look back, and goes back to his apartment with his tail between his legs.

  
"Finally." Mindy sighs once she's alone.

  
"It's over." Danny announces to Peter and Jeremy, sitting on the kitchen table, while ray and Terry went back to the game on tv.

  
"Man, you can't just let her make you lose like that" Peter pleads.

  
"He's right! It's only four days." Jeremy concurs.

  
"Did you see what just happened? I can't deal with any more cuckoos nest shit."

  
"I thought it was kinda hot." Peter declares out of the blue.

  
"Well, Peter, you do have a rather twisted psyche." Jeremy reminds him.

  
"That's true. You know what, Danny. Just dump her." Peter says sarcastically. "So, Jeremy, who can we get to sponsor the practice? i head the stand in for Miss Piggy is really on demand these days, especially after she dumped Kermit. "

  
"Ok, ok, ok. I get it! Jeez!" Danny explodes, crossing his arms nervously.

  
"I know what you should do!" Jeremy realizes. "Couple's therapy. It has worked wonders for me and my houseman Pao."

  
"Yes! great!" Danny agrees, bolting towards his bedroom window.

  
After making the run of his life down the fire escape, he finally manages to catch up to Mindy, still on the stairs just outside the apartment building.

  
"You gotta be kidding me." she growls under her breath, stopping in her tracks.

  
"Mindy, sweetheart, please forgive me. I was a jerk. Just gimme another chance" Danny begs, crossing his hands to make his point clear.

  
"Aren't you tired of this ?"

  
"Please, i'll do anything," Danny gets on his knees this time, looking up to her from the bottom of the stairs.

  
"Ok, but get up, you're being ridiculous."

  
Mindy holds out her hand to help Danny up.

  
"What about couple's therapy? What do you think? Jeremy knows a great guy, we could make this work."

  
"No, i know the perfect therapist that can do wonders with a guy like you." Mindy suggests.

  
"Thank you, thank you." Danny thanks her, kissing her cheek.

  
"I'll schedule an emergency meeting for tomorrow."

  
"Great."

  
"I love you Danny, but i don't need to like you right now." Mindy concludes, heading out to the curb.

 

 

 

  
  
"Hello, Mindy. Danny. Welcome and come in." Gwen greets Mindy and Danny into her apartment. She's wearing a grey sheath dress and black blazer, matching her thin glasses. Her hair is tied in a severe bun.

  
"First things first - how do you intend to pay?" she asks, gesturing for them to take place on the  
love chair opposite her armseat.

  
"How much is it?" Danny asks.

  
"500" Gwen replies dryly, adjusting her frames.

  
"Dollars???" Danny blanches.

  
"Danny!" Mindy nudges him.

  
"Fine. Whatever it takes, honey." he puts on a forced smile.

  
"So, how long have you been dating?" Gwen jumps right into the matter at hand.

  
"Seven days." Mindy replies.

  
"Interesting" she pretends to scribble on her notebook pensively.

  
"Is it too soon for therapy, in your medical opinion?" Danny wonders.

  
"Seven days is a whole lifetime for some bugs, so ... " Mindy points out.

  
"But it's a human week." Danny snaps back.

  
"Did you hear that tone?" Mindy looks at Gwen. "How can i not take things personally when he talks like that?"

  
"How are you doing sexually?" Gwen ignores her, continuing her questionnaire.

  
"Not so well. Danny has a little issue with his private parts."

  
"No, i don't!" He jumps up.

  
"Yes you do."

  
"I don't. The only time we even got close to having sex you named my penis Princess Sophia. Talk about mood killer. "

  
"I liked it, it's regal."

  
"All this repressed - macho attitude, Danny, it's not good for you." Gwen interjects. "Did you ever have same - sex fantasies? no judgment here."

  
"Never, no! what is this all about? why are you just focusing on me when she's the one with the biggest problems."

  
"You see? he's always so pent up."

  
"She's right. I see a lot of anger in you."

  
"A rage-aholic." Mindy suggests.

  
"I'm calm! i don't have any rage problem!" Danny yells, more exasperated by the minute.

  
"Take a breath, Danny." Gwen tells him, holding his hand. "Feel better?"

  
"Yeah." he replies, exhaling.

  
"Do you wanna get a room?" Mindy says sharply, interrupting the moment. "You're hitting on our shrink! you're such a pathological flirt."

  
Gwen and Danny retract their hands.

  
"A minute ago you were questioning my sexuality and now i'm a womanizer? besides, why would i need anyone else when you have more than enough personality for four women?"

  
"Jerk." Mindy crosses her arms.

  
"Enough, you two! Danny, are you ashamed of Mindy?"

  
"Yes he is."

  
"That's not true!"

 

"It so is. You won't even let me be friends with your mother." 

 

"Because you called her behind my back! I should be the one introducing her to you, when and how i want." 

 

"Good point, Danny. Why don't you take Mindy to your family home for the weekend? that would be a great bonding experience." Gwen declares finally.

  
"Fine." Danny accepts, unsure.


	5. Sweet home Staten Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short. Just a set-up for things to come. The final chapter of this story is currently being revised and will be posted very soon. Enjoy, and thanks for the nice comments so far!

Mindy could just about kill Gwen right now. Instead of getting dumped and celebrating with a wild weekend ( _tits deep in margarita_ were her exact words) she's currently holding on for dear life on the Ferry to Staten Island - literally . Her hands are numbing down from clasping on the rails and Danny's barely managing holding her up by the arm. She can only hope the dizziness will subside soon, before Danny's crisp white shirt turns an unpleasant shade of green.

  
An hour, two ice cream cones, and a pretzel later, Mindy gets her natural complexion back and is ready to finally meet the Castellanos.

  
Thankfully, her appetite is still not subsided because as she should've guessed, italians don't joke about food - or family gatherings. A full five course italian meal is waiting for her at the table, along with Danny's entire extended family including his mother, his brother with his boyfriend, his mother's best friend and his teenage half-sister visiting from California. She guesses she'll probably puke her soul on her way back to Manhattan, but damn, will it be worth it.

  
During the dinner she's surprised to find out how much the Castellanos remind her of her own family back in Boston, so colorful and lively with just the right amount of though-love. She fits well with them, and they take a liking to her pretty soon.

  
Besides the company and the food, there's just something about Danny in his natural habitat that intrigues her, too.

  
Gone is the stiff, serious and gruff Danny she met a week ago. With his family, playing cards in the backyard and laughing about old catholic school anectodes from his childhood, he's more himself than she's ever seen him so far, and it touches a string in her heart. He's not just some guy anymore, he's a full three dimensional person with a story, and emotional baggage, just like everybody else. She almost feels bad that soon this is gonna be over, just as she's getting to know him, but deep down, she knows this is not her place to take. She's just some city girl who let her ambition get the best of her. He belongs with some nice girl from the island with a white-picket fence dream and solid principles, unlike her, who barely has any.

 

"What the hell is that?" Danny exclaims later that night, as Mindy enters his childhood bedroom dressed in a colonial-style-nightgown.

"That's my pj."

"It looks like a potato sack."

"It's flannel. I get chilly at night."

"Fine, whatever. But just so you know, that's boner-pesticide."

"What, were you hoping to get some tonight?" she wiggles her eybrows.

"Who said anything about ton - you know what? just get in here." Danny says, patting on the bed next to him and turning off the lights, the streetlight from outside barely illuminating the room.

Mindy tucks herself into the bed, tossing and turning a little before finding the right spot and settling in.

The silence engulfs them. It's very different from the city, Mindy realizes, where the noises from the busy streets act as her natural white-noise machine, lulling her to sleep each night. This kind of silence is scary. She's covered head to toe in heavy flannel, but she feels as naked as ever, alone with her thoughts in the nightly stillness.

"Danny?" she whispers, turning around to face the man.

"What?"

"Today wasn't so bad, wasn't it?

"No, not bad at all." Danny agrees, turning around as well. "Ma kicked your ass at poker, though."

"Please, i let her win. it was all part of my mom-catching plan. And it worked."

"Yeah, right." Danny smiles. Before he can think it through, he continues "Maybe next time you can get a re-match."

"Yeah, next time." Mindy utters meekly, unlocking her gaze from Danny in an attempt to hold back the tears that are forming.

"Hey, what's up?" Danny asks, pushing a strand of stray hair out of her cheek and removing a teardrop with his thumb.

"It's just - everybody was so nice to me, and it made me miss my family so much. My parents have gone away to India for a year, and my brother's in California. It's nice to remember what family feels like. I haven't had that in a long time."

"It's good, right? that you had a nice time, i mean. Listen, i got something that might cheer you up ... "

"Jewellery?" Mindy asks, pushing the last teaar away.

"No, even better. I've got this work thing tomorrow. It's a lifetime achievement award gala for my old boss. It's kinda boring, but you love glamourous stuff, right? so i was thinking you might wanna come - as my girlfriend."

Mindy smiles widely. "Your girlfriend? after only ten days?"

"You keeping count, uh? so it's a yes?"

"Yes" Mindy replies, lunging toward Danny until their lips meet in a soft, lazy kiss.

A kiss becomes two, two become three, until they lose count and Mindy's straddling him, flannel gown forgotten on the floor, along with his t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

Screw it, she thinks. she has _zero_ principles.

 

  
"Sheila, i can't write this article anymore." Mindy announces the next morning, waltzing towards Sheila's desk.

The woman frowns, without as much as looking up from the folder in her hands."I don't think so." 

"But -"

"I don't care." she finally meet Mindy's eyes over her reading glasses. "the cover's already being prepared, i'm expecting your final edit in 48 hours, not one minute more."

"Sheila, i think i have feelings for him, and i wanna pursue them. Please"

"Do you have any idea how unprofessional this is? is some guy you just met worth all your sacrifices to get where you are?"

"I can write another how-to by then, just give me a chance."

"No. This assignment was your idea and let me tell you, people who don't follow thorugh with their own project don't come off very serious. If i was you, i'd try to keep me on your side, for the good of your career. Now go, i don't wanna hear another peep about this."

"Yes, boss." Mindy gives up, heading back to her desk with tail between her legs.

 


	6. The winner takes it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter! i can't believe i managed to finish this after so long ... thanks to everybody who left kudos and comments!

Danny wasn't kidding when he said the party was exclusive. Many of Manhattan's top medical pioneers are attending the event, wearing their most expensive tuxes, while the ladies flaunt designer gowns and four-figure jewellry.  
Mindy and Danny don't look too shabby either, her in a red sleeveless satin gown with her wavy hair pulled up on one side, him in a simple black suit and tie.

"How do i look?" Danny questions, straightening his jacket.

"Like Bradly Cooper at the Oscars."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Very." Mindy laughs at Danny's naiveté regarding pop culture.

"You look very good too, by the way."

"No doy, i know."

"I had no doubt. Listen, i'm gonna get us something to drink, i'll be right back." Danny disappears, kissing Mindy's cheek before fading into the crowd.

He doesn't even have time to get his drinks, when a tall figure appears besides him.

"Hello there, Danny."

"Deslaurier."

"I see you brought your girl here tonight. I gotta admit it, i'm impressed, but the question still remains. " Brendan teases, picking at a bouquet of daisies at the end of the counter "She love you. She loves you not. She loves -"

"She does." Danny interrupts him. "You'll see."

"I can't wait."

Brendan excuses himself, making his way throught the ballroom. After a brief scan of the room, he finds his next target.

"Mindy?" he asks, tapping the woman on the shoulders. "I'm Brendan, Sheila's friend?"

"Oh yeah, sure. We met at the St. Patrick's party, right? Nice to see you again."

"Likewise. So, how's work going?"

"It's ... going."

"Stay strong. Sheila can be demading, but she's the best in her business."

"You have no idea."

"I gotta say for someone who works so hard you look positively radiant tonight. I guess that's what love does to you. You and Dr. Castellano have been quite the talk of the town lately."

"Oh, love? that's a big word. I'm not in love! After only ten days, who can say? you know? love, blagh." Mindy rants, soon taking a shade of deep crimson that could rival her dress.

"My mistake." Brendan declares, clearly unconvinced.

In the far corner of the room he spotsm the inseparable Jeremy and Peter with his brother Duncan, who's waving him, eagerly awaiting to know the results of the bet.

"Either way, you look gorgeous." he finishes. "Enjoy the party. If you excuse me, they're calling for me."

 

"So?" the three guys ask almost simultaneously when Brendan joins them.

"So, i shook it out of her. Turns out our Danny is a big fat liar. She knew all about the bet and was playing along to get him to win."

The trio gasps.

"Dishonesty disgusts me." Brendan scowls.

"Me too." Duncan agrees, clueless regarding the statement's implicit irony.

"Brendan, we knew nothing about it, we swear. Jeremy, we better go." Peter says before grabbing his friends'arms and leading him away from the Deslauriers.

 

Mindy's starting to get impatient. Danny's gone to get their drinks almost ten minutes before and has yet to come back. Her legs gave up two minutes after he was gone - no matter how many times Gwen encouraged her to get healthier and go to the gym with her it had always been a failure as Mindy was clearly not the athletic type.  
Now she's sitting at a table, sampling all the different tastes of mini quiches available. Unfortunately, her sampling is brusquely interrupted by tornado Peter who, kipping any prehambles, jumps into a chair next to her with Jeremy following suit.

"Hey, Mindy, remember us?"

"From three days ago, yes. I do."

"Just a quick question" he asks calmly, to then raise his voice. "Girl, why did you have to tell Brendan you fake dated Danny to help him win the bet? and why didn't we know???"

Mindy frowns. This is news to her. Bad news too, it looks like.

"What did Brendan offer you? money? sex? what ??? damnit!!" Jermey slams his fist on the table.

Mindy starts shaking in anger, trying to gather her thoughts. There has to be some kind of mistake. Maybe it's just all a big misunderstanding. She takes a deep calming breath before speaking.

"Guys, i'd love to discuss this with you but i gotta talk to Danny in private. Right now. You understand." Mindy gets up, shoving the napkin-clad mini quiches in her purse and storming away.

Danny's been cornered. Not only he had to wait over five minutes in line to get the drinks, but now he's the subject of Sheila's tipsy small talk, if that could even be defined small talk at all. She hadn't stopped talking for the past few minutes, Danny only offering a nod and a sparse comment here and there. He can only hope Mindy won't be too mad at him when he comes back fifteen minutes late with two warm drinks.

Danny finally spots Mindy in the crowd, beautiful like a mirage and ready to save him from the chatterbox on his right.

"Excuse me, but i spotted a pretty lady in red over there and i'm afraid i can't let her spend the night alone one minute more."

"Oh, that's Mindy, my how-to girl." Sheila begins talking again, not getting the hint. "She's a force of nature. Right now she's doing an article on how to get broken-up with in ten days. She's so inspired, i don't know how her mind works, i swear! ... the poor idiot she's dating doesn't even have a clue. From the stuff i've read so far he's not the brightest apple in the bunch, let me tell you. I mean, Curdoroy slacks in the middle of spring? yikes."

Danny's blood starts rushing to his head. He's the poor idiot. How could he be so blind? she had been acting so insane there was no way she didn't have an ulterior motive.

Danny's gaze falls on her across the room as hers falls on him, and the two march to each other, stomping their heels angrily.

"I gotta talk to you" Mindy whispers through gritted teeth.

"You gotta talk to me? I gotta talk to you, if anything."

"Let's get out."

"Great."

"Great."

The two stride in silence through the building, their footsteps echoing through the marble hallways, until they're out in the crisp night air, away from curious eyes and nosy colleagues.  
Mindy's the first speak up.

"You used me to get ahead for a bet?? what even was at stake??"

" ... A work client." Danny admits sheepishly.

"This was about work?? that's even worse than i thought!!"

"You did the same! you drove me off the wall, and for what? a stupid article! i went to a Katy Perry concert with you, i missed the Yankees!"

"And you pretend to be Mr. perfect just to show me off like a trophy! We're even!"

"So, tell me, was i just a test subject for you?"

"Yeah, and i was just a girl you picked at a party."

"Well, look at it this way - now you got yet another twist for your fantastic story! I hope you're happy with yourself. You wanted to lose a guy in ten days? you just did." Danny concludes, turning around towards the stairs to get back to the shindig.

"No, i didn't." Mindy yells at him as he's about to open the building's door, causing him to turn one last time. "You can't lose something you never really had."

 

  
"Well, that's not what i expect." Sheila declares, looking up from her laptop. "It's even better."

"Really?" Mindy asks from the chair across the desk.

"I think you're ready for the next step. You've proven your loyalty. From now on you can write whatever you want in your column, inspire the hell out of young women of color or whatever it is you're always blabbing about."

"Anything? even the wage gap?"

"Eh."

"Sexual harassment?"

"Well .."

"Body image?"

"No."

"Then what can i write about?"

"Whatever you want! Shoes, clothes, dating, finding the right eybrow shape for your face. The world is your oyster."

"You mean your world." Mindy replies bitterly.

"Excuse me?"

"Skinny, white, middle class women."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. I'm giving you free reign here."

"Listen, Sheila, i will never thank you enough for the opportunity you gave me to work here all these years and learn the ropes, but i'm done. I quit. "

Sheila doesn't even have time to process what just happened. As fast Mindy appeared in her office a mere few minutes earlier, she disappears.

 

  
Danny mid-morning crossword puzzle break is interrupted by Peter shoving a tablet on his desk.

"Read this." he points to the article on the screen.

"No thank you."

"No, Really Read it. You might be surprised. Your chick's got a way with words."

Once Peter's left his office, Danny gives in. He pciks up the tablet, reading the first paragraph.

 

 

 

> _How to lose a guy in ten days_
> 
> _by Mindy Lahiri_
> 
>   
>  _I lost a guy and i don't know why. What went wrong? when i started writing this month's article i wanted to commit to some silly dating faux-pas.What i realized was, i was making the biggest mistake of all. You see, while i was writing this article, i lost a guy. Not just any guy - the one. I thought he was too good to be true, and it turned out, i was right.I played a game and i played it too well. When i won, i lost._

 

  
"Mindy??" Danny yells, bursting into Glow Magazine's offices like a lunatic.

"Hey, Mr. Loverboy, here." Alex calls.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. You looking for my friend Mindy?"

Danny simply nods, breathless.

"Well, it's too late cause she just quit."

"Where is she?"

"I'm not telling you, you dirty cheat!"

"She's home packing her stuff." Gwen interjects from a desk nearby. "She got an interview in San Francisco."

"Thanks" Danny tells her, before stopping in his tracks."Wait. You're not a therapist."

"Nope."

"You owe me 500 bucks!" Danny declares, proceeding to take various bills from the wallet inside the purse on her desk. "Thanks!"

"Hey! leave me some for lunch!"

 

  
When he arrives, Danny's just in time to cach her before the cab takes speed. He throws himself in front of the vehicle, trying to stop it as best as he can. The car comes to a screeching halt, missing him by a couple of inches.

"What the hell, Danny, what's your damage?" Mindy storms out of the car.

"Did you mean what you said in your article?" Danny cuts to the chase."Or is this part of your master plan?"

"You know it was all true."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"They're letting me write anything i want at this new magazine. It's my chance to make a difference."

"Bullshit. You can do that anywhere. You're running from us."

"Is there even an us anymore, Danny? it was all pretend!"

"Not according to your article. You felt it, and you know i felt it too. Can't we just start all over?"

"I don't know." Mindy crosses her arms, looking down at her shoes.

"You know Thursday when we watched You've got mail and Tom Hanks was giving his big end speech and i said it was unrealist and cheesy?."

Mindy nods.

"Well, now i get it. What if i hadn't been a dumb idiot trying to win a bet and you hadn't been writing that article, what if we had just met at the party and hit it off?"

"Let me guess, you would have asked for my phone number and you wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling and asking, "How about coffee, drinks, dinner, a movie, for as long as we both shall live?"

Danny laughs. "Pretty much. So, what do you say?"

"Ok, Joe."

"Ok, Kathleen." Danny replies, before their lips meet in a passionate kiss.

Once they break apart, Danny lets the cab driver go, taking Mindy's luggage in one hand and entangling the other one with hers.

"I knew you knew their names! you were just playing it cool!" she teases, shoving him playfully with her free hand as they head back to her apartment building.

"You know me too well for my own good."

"You can bet on it." Mindy smiles.

 

**The End**


End file.
